Barbara Ester

I'm a capricorn, with my moon in leo and cancer rising.

  I was born in Highland Park, Illinois. I grew up in the country surrounded by corn fields and pastures. I was a 'tomboy', they said, cause I liked to play baseball and do 'boy things'. My first crush on a girl happened when I was five years old. She was a 'tomboy'  and older then me. I was enamored with her and wanted to be like her.

I loved being outside and found wonderous places to walk and sing especially out across  the fields and back by the  pond.  I liked working in the gardens, walking with my dogs, and riding my bike. I enjoyed spending time with my siblings and played equally with my sister and bro.

My mom played piano, mostly  popular songs from her generation. She also played at school programs and had us all singing early on. In high school I played the clarinet and grew an interest in jazz and musical theater. My favorite singers  were Carmen McRae and Barbra Streisand. I learned a lot listening to them. Carmen especially gave me 'permission', so to speak, to love and use my lower voice and  enhance my  enunciation.

 All through my school years I had crushes on girls but I didn't tell anyone. I left home for Chicago to attend Columbia College and study acting. Part of the draw came after I read in a Cosmopolitan magazine that homosexuals were found in cities and in the theater. One of my first roles was in an off Broadway play as a Lesbian.  Traditional roles for women were limited  so that was a real exception. The next year I was OUT !

While I was in college the democratic convention in Chicago and the horror of police bruality caught my attention.   I left college to join the Columbia College Center for New Music's free theater, in 1969. The performances were in protest of the vietnam war and violence. The theme of many of the shows  were in support of civil rights and justice. I had some wonderful opportunities to perform and helped to start the free theater in san francisco. I identified as a 'hippie' and found a way to speak out through song.

Ah,  but then along came the gay rights and feminist movements, new friends and hearing a performance by Linda Shear and the Family of Womon band. I was already out as a Lesbian and found it increasing hard to feel comfort and ease with the roles available in the free theater, inspite of the politics.

Hearing Linda shifted my life and I knew I could no longer be content in the free theater.  She was singing about her life ! On a last trip to san francisco, I met Joan who invited me to be a part of a womon's band, and I was off on a new most amazing and challenging  journey.

see : Sinister Wisdom

 issue... # 64 for a continuation of my journey into the 70's and '80's.... to florida, utah and now south carolina.  

and watch here for 'more of it'

winter solstice '09 

   Back for a visit in Salt Lake City. Beth & I lived there for 10 years. We were celebrating Beth's 60th B day with several friends. It was cold but  I do love the beauty of the surrounding mountains  !

       I've always liked

         flannel shirts !

          Barb in '58

      My lover took  this pic of me in   1970, the years of my rock & rolling.

          Barb in '76 

 I love & treasure my miami days !